“You eat oranges seductively, you’d better watch who you eat those around.”
Those were the words coming out of my ever so hilarious friend. It was funny, and we laughed – really, my sister and I chuckled for quite some time afterwards, repeating it in the nonchalant, kind of concerned, cute little smirk on the face kind of tone he uses. I love his humour.
Of course he meant it in a humorous way. That was how I took it and I’m 98% sure that I don’t eat oranges seductively but it did get me thinking do we watch what we do, and in front of who?
Sex sells. Everyone knows this unfortunate fact. We’ve all seen it, and probably used it to our advantage a time or two (eh ladies? Am I right?) I used to serve tables at a local hotel – mostly weddings and functions. I learned very quickly that a lot of men can be very terrible to deal with. I once was called out to clean up a glass that a man purposely dropped on the floor just to watch me bend over and clean it up, another asked me to be in a threesome with himself and his girlfriend (who was sitting beside him), needless to say she was mortified. And I received a pretty impressive apology tip at the end of the evening. I took it, smiled and moved on. I often thought if it was something I did (I mean, who can resist that penguin looking outfit?).
I didn’t take me long after a bad relationship to catch onto how to get a free drink at the bar. I watched girls slowly move around the bar, flashing their smiles, flipping their hair and laughing at every word that came flowing out of a mans mouth, and there appeared their free drink. I wasn’t super great at it, mostly ended up with the sympathy drink from the friend of the guy who was going for my friend, but I smiled, accepted the drink, batted my eyelashes and made friendly conversation.
I learned that meeting men in bars – was rarely, if ever going to have a good outcome.
Sex sells, but what are we selling? Ourselves? Our respect?
There are a million and one articles you can read, and even more inspirational quotes you can hang on the wall, but the fact is that until you’re in it, you’re not going to know how to fight it. For me personally, by the time I realized what I was fighting, the war was mostly over – and not in my favour.
I wasn’t strong when it hit me. I was vulnerable and I was lost – which is no excuse, mind you – I always thought that I was prepared. I read books, articles and quotes thinking that if I knew it in my mind, then I would act appropriately and to my standards when it did. But I made one major mistake – my heart was unprepared.
I fell into the misconception that what I am worth could be tallied, added up and processed by others – and that it would determine who I was, and into which category I would fall – acceptable or non.
There is only one man who knows my worth, and it is not determined by anyone of them here on Earth. Because my worth is not of this world.
This is one quote that actually matters.
“37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:37-39 (NIV)
And.. you should also listen to this song. It was the first song on the album (All Sons and Daughters). At first I was annoyed – I always get like this with the first song on a CD, like come on, get to the song that I purchased the CD for! But then I actually listened to it. Changed everything.