Dear 16 year old me,
I wish I could go back and make your decisions for you – take that weight off your indecisive shoulders. You’ve always thought of yourself as mediocre, but you’re not. You’re so much better than that. You are beautiful and brave. You are little but fierce (so says Shakespeare).
- Your relationship with God is the most important. Even though it feels strong right now, you’re going to hit some bumpy passages – keep investing into him. He is your rock, your solid ground, when everything else falls apart – he’s still there.
- Stop second-guessing yourself. Go and sit beside that guy in stairwell eating lunch alone.
- Thick black eyeliner does nothing for your eyes, except make them look smaller and a wee bit Chinese. And for goodness sake, spend time finding a foundation that matches perfectly with your skin tone – you’ll thank me.
- Thigh gaps don’t exist for girls with thighs and bottoms like us, embrace your body for how God created you – your husband will love it.
- The friends that you make in high school – despite what everyone says – will be life long friendships. Feed into them more than whoever your monthly crush is. Much to our dismay, we learn the hard way that friendships are way more important than any boy you’ll take interest in or think you need acceptance from. Even your marriage began from a friendship.
- No guy will ever give you the acceptance that you think that you need. You are perfect in God’s eyes. Remember that, repeat it over and over again – it will save you heartache. When someone makes you feel less than perfect, take a deep breath and walk away.
- The company that you keep has a huge affect on your happiness. If you hang out with negative people, you will be a negative person – which we know that we are not. So just don’t do it.
- Don’t chase happiness as your main goal – if you can’t be happy now, you’ll never catch it. So sit down, look at everyone around you, write down the things that you are thankful for, and find contentment (with some adventure of course.)
- No, means no. Don’t ever be afraid to say it.
- Your gut feeling is right. Love everyone, but you’ll know when to be cautious. If you feel anxious (that tummy flipping, gut wrenching panic) about anyone or anything, walk away.
- Counselling is one of the biggest, most positive steps you can take in your life.
- A wise man once told me, “If you start to feel stuck in a relationship, that’s your sign to get out.” (NJ) I wish I heard this sooner. If the guy you’re seeing prevents you from investing into your loving Saviour and awesome friends, he’s not worth it. Your husband will bring out the best in you, and fit like a glove in your friendships – as if he’s always been there.
- DD’ing is always more entertaining then the hangover the next day. Keep it that way.
- Don’t worry so much, you’ll travel the world.
- Try not to let the people who tell you that “you must give up your creativity for a future” get into your head – obviously they have no creativity. Just remember that it might take you a couple extra part-time jobs to get you to where you want to go.
- Lastly, just remember that everything will be okay. High school isn’t forever, although some people have a hard time moving out of that stage – be the one who does. You will be more respected sticking to who you are – your positive, mostly conservative, non-swearing self than you ever will be by conforming to the world’s way. You can make a difference, even just with one person or one photograph. You’ll learn to communicate almost better through photography than through chatter – let God use the gift that he has given you and give it back to him.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23
You can do this. And for goodness sake, PLEASE use a planner and stick to it.
Love always,
B.
Your 24 year old self