Honour – regard with great respect.
Love – an intense feeling of deep affection.
Cherish – protect and care for (someone) lovingly.
Early one Saturday morning, my husband rolled over and quietly whispered,
“Bren, LC is awake.”
Although, I already knew that she was awake – because she had been awake for a half hour, as had I. Honestly, I just really, really did not want to get out of bed. There, in my exhausted, foggy state of mind, I snapped.
“Why don’t you get up with her then?”
I snared back at him, just wanting the world to disappear under my covers, with me in them. I took a deep breath – knowing full well that even if he did get up with her, I’d need to get up to feed her anyway. I crawled out of bed, only half aware of what just happened.
As I tip-toed into LC’s room, a calmness came over me, with her sweet blue eyes staring at me through the crib bars, and a smile so big that I could see it behind her soother.
“Hello sweet one.”
I whispered as I reached down to pick her up. I settled in the rocking chair and my thoughts starting coming through the fog.
“Oh no,” I thought as I heard my husband moving around in the bedroom.
I snapped at him, I used a mean and gnarly tone, this was OUR Saturday morning – the one that we’d been looking forward to all week. This was our morning to take things slow and relaxed, to enjoy each other’s company – and I ruined it before we’d even gotten out of bed. Regret sat like a bowling ball in the pit of my stomach. He told me about LC so sweetly, so lovingly. And I didn’t even SEE him this morning, I just saw yet another thing that only I could take care of.
He popped his head into the nursery, I looked up at him with tears in my eyes, ashamed of how I reacted.
“Please to go back to bed, I didn’t actually mean what I said when I woke up, I want you to have a relaxing quiet morning, just like we’d planned.”
He responded, “You can’t expect me to stay in bed after you say something like that. Obviously I feel terrible that I can’t be the one getting up with her every morning, and I appreciate the fact that you do.”
Then he did the most amazing thing…
He walked downstairs and made ME coffee. He asked me what I wanted for breakfast, he asked me what I wanted to do that day. He pulled me into his arms and told me that he sees that I am overwhelmed and wants to know what he can do to help. He loved on me. In my darkest, meanest and most snarly of moments – he honoured and cherished me in a way that I’ve never felt before. He reached into my tired, lonely and exhuasted heart and loved me with a Christ-like love (Ephesians 5:25) – even though I am flawed, broken and undeserving.
I thought that we were going to have a terrible Saturday but because my husband chose to see through the cracks of my tone and understand where I was hurting, we had the best Saturday ever. We had coffee and breakfast, we took our daughter to the park, we aimlessly wandered through Wal-Mart, we read the Bible together and then he made ME dinner. What could have been a day where we tore each other to shreds using passive aggressive jabs and comments, as we have done on days before this, he chose differently – he chose to love on me instead.
And what a beautiful day it was.
3 thoughts on “Honour, Love and Cherish.”
This is beautifully written! Its nice to have the reminder to give each other grace and to honor love and cherish our spouse! It’s not always easy to be loving when you are tired and constantly “mama”ing!
I absolutely love this!
There have been so many mornings (more than I would like to admit) where I have done exactly the same thing – such a hard season with littles when nursing. My husband, like yours, was so gracious and patient and tried to help and understand how heard it was. I pray I can show him the same love and grace in his hard seasons too.